I am his Retainer
by FalconMage
Summary: Waver became Rider's Retainer. This his is memoirs of Rider and what he was to him.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Fate/Zero

This is just a simple story written down after my thoughts of Rider's death. I am a huge fan of Rider. I love every single minute of screen time that Rider gets. If possible, I'd like to get all of his souvenirs and everything but alas, I can't. Anyways, here's to a short read.

This is from Waver's point of view. Some sort like a diary since Rider ordered Waver to be his retainer. So this is what he wrote.

* * *

I am his retainer

* * *

This may not come as much but as I write this, memories of him kept flooding my mind and every cloud of remembrance keep me inside his soul. I am Waver Velvet, his Master for the fourth holy grail war that has come and gone with no one standing as the victor. The war is done; it has ended. As much as I would like to keep my servant from going off, it must be done. For now, I am his only means of remembering his deeds and being as the loyal retainer as I am, I will continue forth.

Rider… or for better known as Iskandar, conqueror of conquest, was my servant. Every bit and minute that I served him as a master and as my servant, it was hell. There were mostly ups and downs with that man but I couldn't exactly blame him for it. Being as the boisterous man and pumped with energy, his curiosity always got the better of him and his constant need to try new and finer things kept me on edge. It was rather… annoying to say the most but that is something that I had to put up with during the war. I mean, I don't have a choice, do I? But after a while, you kinda got used to him. In fact, you feel the sudden urge to be by his side as he gains victory over his conquest. That was his biggest attitude that I would like to have the most: charisma.

The first time that I summoned Rider, I only had one thing in mind: to win the war. The war will prove that I am worthy and capable of things that others looked down upon. Those people in the academy… that rat Kayneth, he dared belittle my article… It may be the truth that the longer the magicians' generations are, the higher their statuses and power. They rise as they major among all and I, being the lowest of the pyramid, will only be looked as a meddling apprentice. That is why I need to win this holy grail war. This war will prove my worth.

That is when Rider came along.

Sparks of lightning broke through the clouds and a strong gust of wind swept through the forest. I was slightly afraid of whom my servant would be but I kept strong. My determination stood and I wouldn't dare keep my eyes off. I needed to watch the summoning; I needed to know who I'm dealing with. By the end of the ordeal, a large man stood in front of me, keeping up a proud and kingly pose, chest puffed high and straight, his cape wafting through the air. The wind finally died down and I landed on my bottom.

_He was BIG!_

I shouldn't even stop at big. Rider was more than big. Large, muscled, proud, sophisticated; the perfect man for the pride of his nation. Yes, that was him, the conqueror of conquest, my servant. He came forth towards me, looking down at a scrawny looking boy. Unfortunately, he wasn't very happy with the person that summoned him and be his master throughout the grail of the war.

"Are you my Master?" He boomed.

Gulping down a fresh stream of saliva, I nodded and replied whiningly.

"Then get up. I shall not have a Master that walks on his ass for the duration of the war."

I got back up to my feet and began to scrutinize the man. Dressed in his golden age time of Macedonia, Rider wore a proud red cape that lengthened out to his ankle from the back. His arms were crossed but I could still see the armour that he wore to protect his vulnerable torso. Down to his legs, there was nothing more than a pair of shorts. In his case, he claimed it to be his 'leggings' but I find no part of those pants as 'leggings'.

"What is your name, Master…?" Rider growled under his breath.

He was intimidating enough for me to pee in my pants! But I kept myself compose. I may be a wimp but I cannot show my weakness to a servant. I am a master and that is what I will be. "Waver Velvet and I am your Master."

Rider smiled and turned, "Very well then. I do not care about the holy grail. I care more about what happened to my beloved country and how the world has turned out." And off he walked.

"Hey! You're not supposed to show yourself to normal human beings! You're my servant! You are here to fight for me in the war! Are you listening to me?!"

No, he wasn't even listening. He ignored me completely! What an arrogant bastard!

Yes, as much as I would like to keep all things good about Rider, Iskandar is an arrogant bastard. For one thing, he doesn't care much about other people's feelings and acted as he likes. That goes to say the same when he broke into a bookstore and stole a few books for his own benefit. All he did was break in, flexing away at his muscled body and came out like nothing happened. In the end, he found out that the world was too big for him to conquer. Even after everything he had done, it was only a small portion but based on history, Rider was practically an iconic being that others know about.

Experiencing life with Rider was difficult. When I brought him home, that man practically made a mess out of my room. There were junk food, everywhere, books, comics, tactical information, and alcohol! It was a junkyard and he thought nothing of it. Instead, he stripped off his cape and just started eating and watching some boring old shows about plans and wars and stuff. Albeit, it is his nature to be interested in them but god dammit! I am sick of it!

That wasn't the end either. The constant flick of his fingers on my forehead was torture. Every time I did something wrong or said something stupid, he'll punish by placing force and slapping my back constantly. Ungh… Like I said before, it was hard to live with Rider but once you've gotten used to him, he was an excellent guy to hang out with. Furthermore, his motto of life seemed legitimate enough.

Food, sex, sleep and war.

Nothing that I've thought of but being a human and living the life of my own here in this world, Rider has taught me many things that I couldn't do by myself. For that, I am glad. He may be rambunctious and unruly but that was how he worked.

By then, the first battle came out. Saber, lancer and berserker. They were there and Rider just had to butt in. This was soon followed by Archer. It was frightening to watch how the battle broke out but I contained my courage to watch and experience it. In the end, I wasn't strong enough. Kayneth, the professor from my university, the one person that taught me his subject, stood in the shadows and mock over me. I was scared but Rider protected me and I half expected him not to. There was nothing to protect me from but he just did.

Being as his retainer, I have to write that what you may have seen of Rider, Iskandar, isn't what you may have experienced. As we all know, classes of Saber, Lancer, Archer, Caster, Berserker, Rider and Assassin only exist for the sole purpose of the holy war, nothing more to that. They were brought here as magical beings, taking form as human, to fight and live as one. In other words, reincarnation from death. For Rider, he wanted more than his reincarnation. Once the war is over, he will go back to be a heroic spirit and not continue on living. His life on earth is based on the duration of the war. Thus, his reason and desire for the holy grail. At first, I couldn't believe the words that he said but after many days of pondering, I was glad that he made that decision. Unfortunately, to gain that wish, he needs to win.

He proved his worth even more by showcasing his noble phantasm. It is difficult to write and describe how amazing and at awe most of us were when it was finally released, especially for me. This goes on to prove that Rider… is not the man that you would want to mess with. Again, Rider is only intimidating on the outside but once you get to know him better, you'll find out that the man that possesses powers beyond your wildest dreams is just a man out of curiousity.

Days went by as the period of the war continued on. After the battle between Saber, Lancer and Berserker, nothing drastic occurred. For this moment, I took the pride and liberty of practicing my mediocre magic and spend more time with my servant. Albeit, it has been weeks and days that I've been with him but there were many things that I'm not up to par with. Which, evidently, took him out to see the real world for his own.

I may have made a mistake to take him out but from that day on, I would never have forgotten his words. Rider… Iskandar… you are truly a king of conquerors. Your enemies tremble at your very name and your people are willing to sacrifice just for you. Petty matters do not move you much nor mattered as long as you live your own life. In the end, Rider raised a pep talk up for me which I held on to this day.

_Miserable nature is the sign of a conqueror._

He knows that I am small and yet, his words made me think twice and thought about how much that I had to struggle each time I tried to reach for greater heights. As he said again: No matter how small my body is, even if it's the size of a poppy seed, I will thrive and continue forth, conquering anything that takes my fancy. Such remarkable as that… must have been fancy… but alas, I do not possess such attribute. Which is why Rider is the king that I would want to follow and lead. His ideals struck a chord to me and I wished he would have taken me along.

_Without destroying or degrading them, he sought to rule their souls. Thus, was he the king of conquerors._

He seek, he saw, he conquered. During the grail war, he was never interested in his opponent's power or wealth. Rather, he would want to recruit them and expand his army of endless knights. It was truly a grand and noble idea but again, that will not come true. Trying to gain Saber as his soldier? Not possible and yet, he tried.

* * *

He left for the night that I would never had forgotten…

… Rider… you are my king…

* * *

The night of the final battle came. I wouldn't know that it was the final night for everything else. If I knew about it earlier on, I wouldn't have allowed or pursue him to push on forward but that would be selfish of me. My true purpose for summoning this servant was to help me gain the holy grail and grant me the wish that I would have wanted it to be. In the end, that was the night where I lost my purpose in life.

After the short battle that we had with Saber, I had to walk back home with my own two feet since she had destroyed Rider's chariot. Trudging through the night from the highway back home wasn't a pleasant journey at all but was rather entertaining.

"So why didn't you use your noble phantasm on her?" I sighed while dragging my feet.

"Mm… boy, as you already know, it uses a lot of my magic. I wouldn't want to take too much mana from you."

"What does that mean!" I scoffed. "Are you implying that I'm weak?"

A moment of silence but quickly cracked when the large man stifled a bellowing guffaw.

"Boy, you have changed ever since the first time we met. You've learnt to live life of your own and depending on your true self for power. That is the true power of a conqueror."

"S-Shut up!" I cried silently.

Since then, I've been looking forward to actually spending the rest of my time with him. Rider was like a father, the man that I could look up to and gain advice without being judged. The looks of his face, that slightly arrogant look and yet, gentle to the ones that he cares for. Unfortunately, those were going to be the last words of advice that I will be hearing off.

Soon, the night came and after a brief talk with my grandfather, I went for a nap. Although my grandparents aren't really my real 'grandparents' but I would consider them as such. Rider seems very fond of them and wanted me to learn and stay longer with them. Eventually, I made up my mind and did, just for me. I wanted to be like him, I wanted to actually build myself up and not be pushed around… to be what he is. Rider… Eventually, the end was near and once we've decipher the fireworks that were displayed above the clouds, I knew things were about to be wrapped up.

"The strong survives, at the end."

Only the strong… Yes… only the strong will live. And at the time, I wasn't strong enough. I could still remember his words. 'from this point, only the strong can continue', which is why I gave up my ability to be a master. I knew that it was a cowardly move but I couldn't just do anything anymore. Rider needs to be his own master and he needs to win. I didn't care if I lost the holy grail. As long as he lives, and comes back in one piece, I am ever so happy.

From there, he summoned his horse.

"My servant… by this command seal, I, Waver Velvet, orders you… Rider…" The mark on my hand glowed crimson red, "Fight until you gain victory," and the first command spell was given. "And by my command seal, I order you… Rider, win the holy grail," this was followed by the second command and the third and final spell, the deal that will cut me off as a master, "By my command seal, I order you, Rider, take the world for your own." And it shimmered to a stop and the mark slowly disappeared.

I sighed, stopped and looked up to him, giving off my final and proud look that I could muster. "I will not allow failure. From then on, I am not your master anymore."

My heart broke into a million pieces as I said that. To be honest, I didn't want to see him off. I know, once more, that all of his annoyance will disappear, my life will be peaceful once more and would never had to pick up the shit that Iskandar dropped but for the love of god, don't go! My wished was finally fulfilled when he called me as his friend. Like a father, friend and partner; that much I could say about him. I stayed by his side till the end, watching as he traverse to his next battle, prepared and bringing glory to the Rider class.

* * *

… My body and heart is yours… take me as you please…

… Rider… you are my king…

* * *

The final fight had arrived. Furious bellow of the wind grazed across my skin and the wind caressed upon my face. As I watched in the glory of Rider, the battle broke out but it wasn't as I expected. With Ionian Hetairoi, he couldn't win.

Rider went in, fully charged and ready, his army prepared and with the final battle cry for the war, it happened. Several of his men came forth and so did we. I wouldn't miss this for the world. To be here, with him and to finally experience his final battle before everything is gone, it was exhilarating and I was. Unfortunately, the moment of glory couldn't last forever. Gilgamesh brought forth an unknown sword and with it, broke a path between us and his army. The impact was almighty and all of his men fell. As they dropped to their death, I looked back and cringed at such sight. They had no choice or chance against that power…

Rider… what are you to do…?

I looked at him, waiting for an answer from Gilgamesh's actions.

"There is nothing we can do."

Iskandar gave a deadpan expression and continued journeying forth. Once again, lady luck wasn't on our side. As both of us know, his noble phantasm took most of his mana and with nothing more to spare for his men, Rider was exhausted. I could give my life for him, to allow whatever mana that flowed in me for him but I knew that he would protest against it. He knew now, that he knew then, he had lost. The simple thought of fighting a losing battle surged through his senses but he continued fighting on.

From there, I hold myself back from hitting right back at him. The urge to punch Rider in the face was so strong. I couldn't lose him. No… I cannot lose him… please don't…

…time and time again… his words were more than powerful. It changed my life, forever.

I became his retainer. This was the job that befalls upon me and I held on to this moment, cherish till my body could no longer move. "You are my king," my words cracked and croaked as tears welled up, "I will serve you and only you. Let me dream your dream."

Iskandar smiled and pets on my head. "As king, it is my duty to inspire others to dream."

Being his retainer, it was my task to dream his dream to the end and to speak of the truth to those that honoured the death of Rider. Even with tears streaming down my cheeks, I held on high and proud: I will watch him till the end, as my king, to live on.

And he rides. With his faithful horse companion, Bucephalus, they charged on and from my stand point, I gripped on my chest, waiting for the glory that will come from this. "Glory lies beyond the horizon! Challenge it because you know you cannot reach it! Speak of conquest and make it real. For my men, who watch behind me!"

His victory cry bellowed out, sword at the ready and the battle began. Gilgamesh opens forth the Gates of Babylon and directed every sword towards him. With each flying weapon, they were deflected perfectly and none had touched upon his glorious body. One by one they came and off it were fought. Then two… three…

…and Bucephalus was struck. The horse neighed in pain and fell with a loud thud, squirming at such an attack but Rider got up quickly and dared not look back. He ran, deflecting every stabbing sword. Unfortunately, even his valiant attempts were in vain. The myriad of swords kept coming and they struck as well. One landed harshly against his arm and another above his upper torso. I cried for a retreat and tried to cast any healing spell to make him better but it was all in vain. He was too fast and far from reach.

"RIDER!"

He was barely an inch away and with his sword high up, it readied to stab against his enemy but was stopped midway.

"NO!"

Several chains wrapped itself around him, immobilizing whatever movement he could muster up. This was the end, Gilgamesh had won. The Archer servant had the final attack and Rider was gone. I saw his body pierced through with the edge of his beloved sword and wounded greatly as blood poured out from his chest. At this point, I couldn't hold on to my tears and cried aloud. This wasn't happening...

"Rider…"

Glittering glimmers of stars came from his body and I knew the signs. There was nothing I could do. I had lost the only man that made me happy, the only friend that really knew who I am and what I wanted. The flicker dimmed and Rider went back to being a heavenly being, the stars looking up to the skies above. Chains dropped and he was gone. My king was gone…

Words alone couldn't be expressed at how much I've missed Rider.

At the end, Archer walked towards me. As much as I wanted to run away and flee like a coward, Rider had taught me one thing in life. Never run away. If I kept running, nothing good will come out of it. "Are you Rider's master?" His words were clear and defined.

"No, I am his retainer," I spoke between sobs.

"If you are truly loyal, your duty would be to avenge your fallen king."

I could have punched him in the face but I knew it was going to be futile. "If I challenged you, I will die."

"Of course," that bastard said as a matter of fact.

"I can't do that. I was ordered to survive," I couldn't let him have the final laugh, I needed to stay strong.

Archer looked down on me, gave a second look and turned. "Your loyalty is splendid, never tarnish it." And he was gone, leaving me alone to tend to nothing.

With no one left on the bridge, the battle had ended. The emotions that stirred and welled within my body burst and I cried without a care for the world. Everything I had was gone, gone in a fleeting moment. The holy grail, my purpose, my self-esteem and most of all… my beloved king. My cries of emptiness wailed through the still night and nothing could have changed that. I was left with nothing but memories.

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Thanks for reading! Read, review and critic! Would love to know what you guys think :D


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